Tearful talks help a lot in a relationship. Plain talking is just boring, you got to raise the emotion level by crying or having some epic war by throwing pillows around :)
Still, managed to clear everything from my heart, and thus - my suicidal plans are officially canceled!

I shouldn't let my emotions take over me that easily right? Haiz. Useless girl. ._. But I'm glad I managed to talk, say something, anything. And "雨过天晴"! Hurray~ Thanks baby for being understanding, and hope you'll remember to wear the Shirt tomorrow and bring my China pouch :D

Texted throughout my journey home. Awesome~ Like seriously. Haven't felt so happy ever? ^^ Yay!
Hope for a better tomorrow :))


P.S I Love You.

PS. I Love You.

Just watched PS. I Love You.

While watching the show, I realise that I wanted to commit suicide. Stupid, I know. But still, since I'm home alone, I might as well open my door and jump off the balcony. 5th story down to the ground, what are the chances of death? I might break a spine, bleed to death, or just become a comatose patient. During a short pause of the show and still thinking about commit suicide, I heard this song "If today was your last day - Nickleback". Read the lyrics below:

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day’s a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day
and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day

Against the grain should be a way of life
What’s worth the prize is always worth the fight
Every second counts ’cause there’s no second try
So live like you’ll never live it twice
Don’t take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day
and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce of memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you’re dreamin’ of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it’s never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
‘Cause you can’t rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin’ stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day
and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?

Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce of memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you’re dreamin’ of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

Nice? Then I suddenly thought, if I was ready to leave.
I guess not. It's not because I don't dare to, but I can't bear to leave those around me behind. So, if I were to die today, I'll be regretting about the things I did before and not compensating for the wrong I've done. Not only my love, but of course family and friends around me. Regardless of how close you are or how much you hate me.

P.S I love you - It's a touching story alright.
Husband dies, and plans out a route so that the wife can actually continue on living. I've experienced it before, once. Receiving text messages instead of letters, so that I could move on with life. It's hard to actually plan out your route even before it happens. Imagine if one day, something were to screw up and the whole plan would be destroyed.

Yeah, so I decided to put my suicidal thoughts on hold and finish the show. Alright ending, superb beginning. Not regretting the 2 hours I put in watching the show. (:

*Thumbs up*

Tuesdays..

There's a saying, you don't live for anyone but yourself. Perhaps you owe your parents for giving birth to you; but other than repaying them with much love and taking care of them when they're old; you don't owe anyone a living.

I keep on reminding myself that no matter how much you love a person, he has a life of their own - it's a fact.
I don't want to be a control freak, neither do I want to be controlled by a freak. Still; I don't understand myself and what I actually want in life.
I need to be more understanding; look at the bright side of everything.
Sorry, i just didn't like the feeling of splitting in the middle of orchard road. And as you walk, you feel that instead of 2 souls, you become alone.
It's so scary sometimes, to walk in a busy road alone. You take one step at a time, wondering where to go next. Home wasn't the first thing that came up my mind. Home means it's the end of the day and our day ended so quickly.

Then this morning, I realise
i fell in love with you.
We may see each other in school, talk a lot. But I know that the feeling is totally different when we're on an actual date. I like it when we have time alone. Because not all the time we can spend time together.
Tuesdays are what I look forward to. I really hate it if someone were to destroy my Tuesdays.

I really just hope, even though you're tired or I am, I'd really like to spend my day with you. Just Tuesday alone is good enough for me baby. I promise. You need not worry about me other days, just Tuesday. Let me have my Tuesday with you please. Morning til the latest we can go; just Tuesday. I really want to hug you, hold your hands and kiss you.. Without any restrictions like in school. Love you with all my heart without hiding.. I want my Tuesdays to be these....

Coraline

Had S&W today, ended at 10am.
Went home, homework and off to watch Coraline. That's all.

mood: sad

What a bad day it is.

It's raining like cats and dogs currently, lucky I'm safe at home.
Didn't have a good night sleep last night, for certain reasons. Slept on hard planks unwillingly, but no choice. Had to force myself to get out of bed this morning and reach school. Met up with Winnie and went to class. The moment I stepped into class, I knew that it was going to be a bad day for me. Finished my assignment and didn't use much of the computer cause I didn't bring my charger. Wanted to borrow but I guess everyone needed their own. Never mind that, I forced myself to take a short nap as I was quite sleepy. Couldn't sleep and instead thought of many things that I did/didn't do. I felt so lousy then. Fuck it.

Accompanied SH to eat, and I just stared at him. Wasn't in the mood to do anything. I knew I needed a hug, perhaps a kiss or even a hold on the hand. But I'm suppose to control myself so I didn't say anything. I felt worse. ._. Dammit, I hate this. Went to look for Andros and pass him his hard disk, and home I went, alone.

I saw Mimi on the way back, and talked to her. Mimi is a stray cat by the way. Haha. I feel so dumb, talking to a cat. I can't really talk to anyone right now. I might just say something wrong by accident and many problems will start to arise. I don't want anything to happen... but still, I want to talk to you. But it seems like you're tired/busy with something else... Nvm then...
So being at home, I ate instant noodles. Saving up for the $16 that I dropped yesterday, fucking suay.
I feel that my week will get worse, and it's only Monday today...

I feel so tired, but I can't sleep...

BlogShop FTW!

Just browsed through a few blogshops online. Oh my gosh, I honestly need to dress up and buy items. Heels, Dresses, High-waist skirt/pants etc. I have many things that I want, but I have no cash(!) Damn.

By the way, I'm starting to enjoy work. In fact, I might last for a few months before quitting (: Provided baby allow me to. I said I'll quit by the end of the month. I have no idea what excuse I'll give, but I hope they'll buy it. :x

Not much happened. A regular uncle came today again. I attended to him last week and he was looking for a CD for so long. From last week til now, he's still waiting for this particular CD to arrive; since it was sold out. Geez, hardcore fan. I talked to him for a while, quite a nice uncle. (: Old, but nice.
Other than that, more people looking for Micheal Jackson's albums. Amazing. King of Pop is his name, and when he left; more people started to worship him. I don't believe it ._. He's good, but only after he died. :D At times, I worry whether will artists "fake" death, so as to get fame? ^^ Micheal Jackson might revive tomorrow and then, he'll sing "BEAT IT". His heart could BEAT IT! :D

I shan't update anymore. I feel so tired suddenly ._.

Music to Intro:
Zee Avi : Bitter Heart.

Poverty.

Hi everyone, I'm back to blog about my day. (:
It's 1:21am currently,and the weekends are here. Every poly/secondary/primary students would be enjoying their weekends off, by watching a movie/shopping and even going out with loved ones. But for me? Yay! Work! (: I'm trying to make it interesting to go to work, so I don't end up complaining about the long hours, and every shit that happened during work. Urgh~ Looking on the bright side now. ^^

Anyways, I'd like to highlight something that I saw today; and I shan't go into details about everything for the day.

On the bus, I sat down beside an uncle and he stench of hair gel. I don't know why, they have to put SO MUCH? Just a little will do uncle :}
By the way, that's not the main point. The bus stopped somewhere and another uncle came onto the bus with his bag full of mysterious things. It's so big, it seemed like there's a dead corpse inside. He sat opposite me, and I looked at him. He looked so haggard and drained. I don't know why, I glanced at what he wore; A dirtied T-shirt, Bermudas, a cap which hid all his white hair, and slippers. Oh wait, Slipper, to be exact. He was wearing 1 slipper, and I was wondering; oh my gosh, can someone be living in poverty that serious, such that he couldn't afford a new pair of slippers? Even Mr Gel Hair had a good pair of sandals! The uncle had dust/sand/dirt all over his feet and toes. The sight of it, turns you off; but to me, it's a sight of sorrow. Then it all linked, I guess what's inside the bag are all his items that he need for him to survive in the harsh world out there. I don't think he has a home to stay, since he's carrying his home all around with him. I felt so despair, I really wanted to give him all my cash that I had on me ($6, that's all I got ._.)But I wonder, if I made a mistake and offend him buy making him feel disabled/pitied; it wouldn't be nice right? So I just got off the bus and went to school. I still feel shitty that I didn't try to help. He looked so sad and when you look into his eyes, it's as if there's a tragic story behind his predicament now. Sorrow sight indeed. tsktsk..


I wonder, will I ever come across such person ever again? Come to think of it, setting up this "Homeless Boy Fund Aid" does matter. You might never know when some boy without a home would need financial aid for his survival in this expensive country. I really feel sorry for the uncle. I nearly teared, badly. Poor uncle ):

Sushi Teh with Andros and Winnie. Awesome, indeed. Had some special privileges and thanks to Sally, finished dinner fast and Andros headed home. Good boy needs to go home early :)

Oh yes, I've come to realise that some people are so selfish to some extend that, they thinks that the world revolves around them. (: Best experience of the day.

I thought I was the selfish one.
I feel unfairly treated.

I don't understand, I really don't..
Disappointed. Seriously. Not just you, but everyone.
Now I have a restriction of doing something that I really love.
Haha, being deprived of the ability to do something you like, is seriously fucked up.
SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP!

20th century

Currently at Amalina's crib doing nothing. I feel like I'm such a slacker ever since semester 2 begun.
Work, Studies, Work, Studies. Nothing else have been happening much. What a mundane life I have.
Assignments due Friday, have yet to be done. More projects due next following weeks, all not started. I feel lacked behind. It's not because I don't want to do, it's just; some things are meant to be taught how to do.
I can do rendering right now, immediately. But I'll most probably get a D+ because I did something. That's not what I want.
I can also start doing PDW and imagine how the pillars are suppose to be, but that's not how I do my work.

Haha, somehow I feel like I'm such a fussy girl. Fussy, Bossy girl.

While waiting for my bus to Amalina's place, I saw a group of young boys around. Cute little kids. They were running all around, playing catching and talking in uncompleted alien language sentences; but they seem to understand each other. A cute sight indeed. Miss the old days, where everything doesn't matter to you. You just go school, make friends and have fun. No responsibility, no consequences; everything will be taken care of by your parents. Those are the good old days. The childhood memories. Times where you spend more time at home with your maid/grandparents and of course at the playground. Playing with swings and slides, running around sweaty and dirty. Laughing happily with your other friends. No worries, just pure fun.
Life in primary school = happy.

So much trouble piling everyday, none solved.
I want to go back to "catching" days and have fun. Instead of sitting here and blogging about my shitty life. I wanna be running about and playing. Society have been too addicted to the wonders of internet connections, that they even play games online. Not moving a single limb muscle but just pressing keys to entertain themselves.

Maple Story, Dota, Icy Tower, Viwawa, Neopets and of course many many more.

Where's the fun? Sitting there and letting virtual images control you. People actually get so happy in these games?? Example, reaching level 100 in maple story, owning someone else in dota and jumping higher than others in icy tower. Haha. It's really amazing how the games get to control our emotions.
I can't imagine that one day, they might actually have a virtual "you" to go shopping for you and exercise for you; while you're lying on the bed sleeping. Everything just looses it's point. Still, the 20th century is better than 21st. Yes, technology may have brought more interesting things and helped us. But if these changes cause us to lose our souls, into these soul-eating computers, I rather now. I rather be living in a kampong and playing with mud, making mud man and getting all dirty but having fun...

old diaries

Ello ((:
I went through all my things, finding my Final Cut Express CD and guess what I found? My old diaries.
Not one, not two but FIVE of them! Amazing. I didn't know I had them and they were all about school times (: Secondary school times.


The oldest I could find was... written on the year 2006. Around November? Haha! Every page I turn, every word I read; they bring memories back into my brain. I felt the young me again. The "old" Kimberly. (: I shan't point out who are the people that exist in my "fairytale". But seriously, many epic things happen and at some point of the book, characters appear even though I can't remember and wonder, do they even exist in my life? 2006. A wonderful year to remember (: More of romance and stupid sayings, "You can't get into a relationship before the age of 18". And where am I now? I guess, thanks to my daily experience of "guys" since then; it really made me so into them and really want to figure out what's going on in their huge skull. Now I remember, how I use to be liked by others and hang with so many different people... But now, it's so different.

The aura around me, totally changed. I don't regret the choice I made, neither do I want to go back to "flirt" with guys and not get serious. :( Sheesh. I may miss the old days, but I still love the people around me now. ^^ Treasure what you have now and remember the good memories. C:

Camwhore~

My day:
School, ANI was alright.
Rained heavily AGAIN, so went to Clementi KFC to eat. Lyna's awesome coupons saved "shingz" for us (:
Didn't go lyna's crib to get my things, but went to school to wait for SH to end work. *I feel nice C: *


What to do, when you can't deny the fact that friends comes and go. You can't keep them by your side forever but all you can do is to remember what you've been through with them. That's the most you can do for them.
I feel sad right now.. I don't know how to project my thoughts right now. I need someone to complete my sentences for me. I can't express myself, help please... I feel like bursting. I really want to say something, yet I don't dare/don't know how to. I shall just keep them inside me and forget it after tonight. That's what I will and always do.. nights.

silently crying.. my heart feels so crunched..